


Finding comfort in the silence

by carmillatales



Category: QTWD, The 100 (TV), queer the walking dead
Genre: F/F, One Shot, references clexa ofc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 14:54:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6524689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carmillatales/pseuds/carmillatales
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alicia notices that Elyza has split up from the group and ventures out to look for her, which results in her finding more than she had expected to. </p><p>Or</p><p>Finding solace even in an apocalyptic world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding comfort in the silence

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to post this before FTWD premiered tonight but it took me a little longer than expected. Writing these characters was a lot harder than any characters I've ever written for, but I hope I did them justice. Enjoy!

She couldn't have gone too far.

They'd left the neighborhood they had been squatting in weeks ago and set out for the open road until they found a small town that was half industrial, half quaint and fully empty.

Everyone had stayed in a pack until then, though her mom and Travis paid more mind to her and Nick than the strangers they'd met and teamed up with along the way. Her parents were hesitant at first, but Elyza seemed to have the opposite effect on Alicia. 

She was a blonde, leather wearing, gun slinging hurricane of a woman with a mouth like a sailor and a charm like no other. It's fair to say she was more than just intrigued by the new girl who stumbled into the quickly decaying world around her. At the very least Elyza brought with her a breath of fresh air, a breath of life, so Alicia was already grateful to her.

She had been paying a little more attention to her than she'd like to admit, and that's when she realized that the girl was missing. Rather than draw attention to the sudden dissapearance, she decided to go look for her and do some dissapearing of her own. Tightening her hand around the gun in her holster, still not comfortable with the weapon that sat on her hip, she was ready to set off. Before she could take a step however, her mothers voice interrupted her.

"Alicia, where are you going?" 

"Just going to explore for a little," she responded before adding "I have my gun, and I'll be back before you know it." Her voice was steady, uninterested even, but riddled with a plead she hoped her mom would hear.

Though seemingly conflicted about letting her roam alone, a slight nod of approval was given and the young girl set off. 

-

After wandering aimlessly for about fifteen minutes and just about ready to head back to base, she remembered one place she hadn't checked yet. It was an old factory of sorts surrounded by debris and covered in graffiti that had immediately drawn Alicia's eye when they first arrived in the small town.

Running through a quick pros and cons list about going into said abandoned building alone with a gun she barely knew how to hold, her legs started walking to the factory before her brain had made a decision. As the building got closer and closer in sight, she noted to herself that this would be one of the few times she would blame her decisions on teenage naivety.

The building was bigger than expected. Quieter, too. There was shattered glass covering most of the floor along with pieces of wood and old spray cans that had been used to decorate the walls that were now chipping away. Stepping over some weeds growing through the cracks beneath her, she suddenly stopped when she heard a strange sound coming from a little ways away. 

"Hello?", she called out as she walked closer to the sound, silently hoping it was all in her mind. She'd been dealing with walkers for a while now but had yet to kill one herself and didn't want to start now. Someone always seemed to get in the way and do the killing for her, namely Elyza when she joined the group. After every kill, she'd turn around and flash Alicia her playful smirk while the smoke from the bullet still hung in the air surrounding them. 

And after every kill, Alicia had another reason to be grateful to Elyza. 

Before she could worry too much about the source of the sound, the source was in front of her. Sat on the ground, Elyza was trying to keep what looked like a cracked phone propped up on whatever she managed to find and stack together, while half of her face and multiple fingers on her left hand were smudged with black paint. 

"Elyza?" Alicia questioned as the older girl looked up.

Rather than respond, the blonde simply raised an eyebrow at her as if Alicia should be the one explaining herself.

"Uh, what are you doing?"

"I could ask you the same," Elyza responded as she went back to her paint. Picking up the phone that had fallen from its position she added, "Mommy know you're all alone in this place?"

"Even if she didn't what would it matter?" Alicia challenged, her nostrils beginning to flare.

"It wouldn't, I'm just curious is all," the older girl replied simply.

Alicia took a deep breath and regained focus. She would never mention how much it meant to her that Elyza didn't treat her like a kid when everyone else had a tendency to do so, but God did it feel good to have someone look at her the way she looked at herself.

"Well, actually, I was looking for-" before she could finish her sentence, Elyza's eyes snapped up to her almost knowingly and suddenly the words caught in Alicia's throat.

"I was looking to be alone for a while," she settled on. 

With the hint of a smile on her lips, Elyza gestured to the space on the floor in front of the stack she'd created so they could sit opposite each other, "if you don't mind my company we can be alone together for a while. Place is big enough for the both of us, I think." Alicia took a seat.

She didn't mean to invade her privacy but she suddenly remembered the first time she'd seen Elyza. Travis had come back from scavenging for some supplies and that night, some supplies showed up in the form of Elyza Lex. Despite the more obvious traits she had, Alicia noticed the stranger was rubbing the remnants of a black substance off her face with her sleeve before she shook her mothers hand. Now assuming it was paint, Alicia wanted to know what it meant and seeing as this might be her only chance to find out, she tried her luck.

"So, are you going tell me what you're doing or are you the only one allowed to avoid questions?"

The laugh that fell from Elyza's lips almost made her forget exactly what it was she had asked but she was reminded when Elyza answered, "I'm putting on my warpaint. Can't ya tell?"

Now it was Alicia's turn to laugh. "Warpaint? That's ridiculous."

"We're dealing with the dead, Alicia. Nothing's more ridiculous than that."

At the mention of her name, rather than one of the nicknames Elyza had taken to calling her, Alicia could tell she was serious. 

"Here," she said reaching forward to take the phone, "let me help." 

She moved the stack out of the way so there was nothing between them now and held the phone at the height Elyza desired. Sure the phone didn't work, but it's screen was still reflective and that's all Elyza needed so Alicia figured she'd make the job a little easier. After regarding her for a minute, she got comfortable again before continuing to use the phones reflection to apply her paint and with the younger girls eyes fixed on her, Elyza took it upon herself to speak up. 

"If you'd told me a month ago that this is where I'd be now, fighting against zombies in an apocalyptic world- I'd have laughed in your face," she began. "But suddenly, something I'd only ever seen in movies was something I could see right outside my window. It was happening before I even knew it began. At first I tried to remain hopeful you know? Maybe it's just some weird outbreak. There would be a cure soon, surely everything would go back to normal." She made the black streaks falling from the black mask encircling her eye as even as possible before she began working on the other half of her face.

"Days went by and everyone I knew got worse and worse. My mom, my dad, my best friends. Soon I was the only one left and there was nothing I could do. I'm not sure if I didn't realize what was happening or just acted like I didn't, but I think I always knew how it was going to end for them. So before I had to do what I knew was coming, I left."

"Hey, you don't have to-" Alicia tried to stop her before she could keep going, the words getting heavier for Elyza as she went on. But she shook her head, glossy eyes focused on her reflection in the phone and the task at hand, and kept going.

"It was hard. I mean, I'd been alone before but never like that. Never like this. There's nothing out there, and it took me some time to really understand that. So I dwelled and I cried, but I moved on," she swallowed.

"And now I'm mad," Elyza said as she finished up the other half of her face, going back over both sides to darken the mask she'd created. 

"I'm mad that everything went to shit so fast. I'm mad that the people I loved were subject to something out of their hands and that I couldn't help them, that all I could do was leave. I'm mad I wasn't stronger for them."

Finally done and looking right at Alicia instead of the phone now, she paused before adding, "I'm mad that someone like you didn't get better than this, and I'm mad I can't do anything to fix things for you. To ensure you got the life you deserve."

Alicia looked right back and swallowed hard. She put the phone down and hoped that Elyza would keep talking because she wasn't sure what to say. This girl who seemed to have a chip on her shoulder, who seemed to have fun killing zombies left and right had now made herself seemingly vulnerable. Even though they were more strangers than friends, Alicia had never felt closer to anyone before this moment. She understood the sadness and she understood the anger although she wasn't feeling that yet. She knew it would come eventually.

"Do you understand?" Elyza asked her after Alicia stared in silence. Still unable to vocalize her thoughts she gave her a single, firm nod. The reason behind the paint was suddenly clear to her. 

She understood that this was war; war against the zombies but more importantly, war against the life that she had been forced to live. War against the things that she had been forced to do and the people that she had been forced to leave. 

This was war, and Elyza wouldn't be going down without a fight for her loved ones or for herself. 

And hell, maybe for Alicia too.

Suddenly her voice cut through the air that threatened to become heavy. "I can draw some on you if you want," Elyza said as she rummaged through her satchel and pulled out a few more tubes of paint, some colored but mostly black. "Sometimes I like to put it on even when I'm not fighting the walkers. It makes me feel powerful."

Alicia nodded again and Elyza's eyes focused on hers as if trying to thank her. She picked out one red and one blue tube of paint as she inched closer to Alicia and studied her face for a moment. Being this close, Alicia could clearly see all the intricacies of her face, like the little birthmark that sat on the left side of her face above the corner of her lip. She could also see their difference in height still clearly reflected even as they sat on the ground. 

Suddenly Elyza moved her right hand in to cup Alicia's cheek and angle her head up, but Alicia flinched involuntarily while mentally kicking herself for her bodies lack of connection to her brain.

"Don't worry sweetheart, I don't bite," she cooed out with a smirk gracing her lips in an accent that made her sound all the more charming. Smiling at one another now, Alicia felt herself physically relax in the familiarity of the Elyza she'd began to know.

As she got to work on applying the paint, Alicia couldn't help but hope that the Elyza she had met here, in the silence of an abandoned factory with paint on her fingers and surprising warmth in her voice even as she talked about death, would come out again soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is welcomed as always, feel free to let me know what you think!


End file.
